Enklings Studio

In Memory of Papaw

I just finished a book by Wendell Berry yesterday - "The Memory of Old Jack".  In the end, as you would expect in a book of this title, Old Jack slips away:

"...even among them, he feels his mind coming to rest. A cool breath of air drifts down upon him out of the woods, and he hears a stirring of leaves.  He no longer sees the stars. His fields drowse and stir like sleepers borne toward morning.

Now they break free of his demanding and his praise.  He feels them loosen from him and go on."

Last night, my dad, our Papaw, loosened his grip on life and ended his 12 year battle with Parkinson's to step into his rest. An awkward blend of emotions falls upon all his family who have been watching his struggle and who now feel depressed and relieved in the same moment.

These last few years we're tough for him and for those around him. Through it though, he stayed who he was, stubborn and loving, a blend of solitary truck driver and the life of the party.  "Good morning my pretties, time to rise and shine!"

What I remember most from him while growing up was hearing repeatedly the phrase: "If it don't bleed, it don't hurt." Today I find that very untrue, though through most of my life it has been a maxim that has kept me pushing forward, no matter what.  Really, what he meant was that you can have peace regardless of your circumstances which, in the light of this day, I find as utterly true as it was every time time I've heard it in the past.

Tears are falling this morning and may last a while, but in the end Papaw, you finished well and taught us all that even with a body ravaged with disease, one can find peace and be peace to those around you.

simply,

Tim

 

Seeing God - A Morning Poem

After 50 years of evangelical prison
and two years of freedom
I can finally see God
Clearly 

No more "supposed to's"
and guilty penance
for wrongs done
in my life and somehow before

Religion is the filthy rag
Trying to wipe clean
a clear window to God
Leaving streaks of confusion

Doing right, because it's right
Doing good, because it's good
Being love, because of love
We don't need sermons or books to tell us this

We can all see God
Theology won't help you
Religion won't make it more clear
Just open the window and crawl through

simply,

Tim

What's To Come of Your Digital Legacy?

Will your great great grandkids read what you wrote if you put it on Facebook or blog it.  How permanent is your digital legacy?

Not that I have much that is profound enough to be considered legacy, but should we be keeping a physical version of some of our writing for future generations?  R U?  I'm just sayin', how permanent is WordPress?

I do have a stack of Moleskins going back to the 90's with business and personal thoughts. I also have a suitcase of old lyrics stuffed in the closet and I did write a non-fiction book I hope no one reads and a few children's books yet to be published, yet if I don't capture the last 5 years of blogging with ink and paper, where will my digital thoughts be in 20 years, 100 years, 200 years.  

Does it matter?  Perhaps not given that most blogging is mind diarrhea, but for those one or two gems every one or two years, my guess is when blogging is boring, the thoughts will be lost.

Thoughts?

simply,

Tim

Open Hands - Living With Dying

I wrote a short poem a while back about living life with open hands:

I will live my life with Open Hands

Courageously – taking what I'm given
Humbly – supporting what I have
Joyfully – giving what is taken
Faithfully – trusting what You will

I will live my life with Open Hands

This may sound defeatist, but I believe that much of life's happiness comes from contentment. Being content, regardless of your circumstances, is the only path to peace.

This doesn't mean you give up. You still scrap and persevere to gain what is needed for life.  It isn't taking the easy road. It's knowing that at the end of the day, or at the end of life, you've done your part and kept commitments to love an live at the highest level you could.

Cathy an I are both in the process of losing our Dads. Each has been a different path. My Dad has had Parkinson's for a decade of slowly deteriorating. Cathy's Dad has been in a fight with cancer that until the last year he was winning. Both are losing their battles quickly. 

So how does contentment fit in when you are losing someone you love?

I will live my life with open hands

Courageously - taking the pain along with recognizing that death is part of life
Humbly - supporting them through this process along with the rest of the family
Joyfully - giving through grief what will be taken whether I let go with joy or anger
Faithfully - trusting that each will be accepted into something much greater than this

I will live my life with open hands

Contentment and peace are the essence of living with things that cannot be changed.

Courage and humility are the keys to changing things I cannot live with.

Joy and faith can be the outcome of either process, it's my choice.

Simply,

Tim

Accomplishing the Impossible in 2010

I just listened to a talk that Brian McLaren gave at UCSB in early 2009 - the video is posted at the end.

One statement jumped out at me and I'm claiming it for 2010 as a process to get to where I want to be as a person of faith and a person of the planet earth. We can accomplish what is impossible for us currently by doing:

"Actions within our power which we do to train ourselves to do things currently beyond our power, and to become people we are currently incapable of being."

There are some things I'd like to accomplish that feel impossible to me:

• Being a role model for my children and grandchildren.
• Ending hunger in the world.
• Having contentment regardless of circumstance.
• Living in a society that values peace above prosperity and love above liberties.   

It's important to have goals that you can't accomplish alone. And also ideals you must work on in the dark when no one is watching.

There is a lot in each of these that seem impossible and will certainly take longer that one year, but if i do today what I can do, tomorrow I will be able to do more. Eventually I can do what is impossible to do today.

What impossible ideal are you looking to accomplish?

Simply,

Tim

New Thanksgiving Video from Sharefaith.com

Let me know what you think. 

Simply,

Tim

www.sharefaith.com

What's Your Value?

It's easy to get caught up in our equity based society and see our value in such a limited way.  Take a look at this video to get a different perspective.

Simply,

Tim

Hope Video From Sharefaith

Check out the new video from Sharefaith and 1Word Studios. I really enjoy writing video scripts for these guys, they truly make words come alive!

Things My Children Taught Their Dad

I was thinking on my walk this beautiful Father’s Day morning that I’ve learned more from my kids than I’ve taught them.  I’ll probably be remembered by you for this one phrase: “You get what you get, and you don’t have a fit.”   I’m not sure that sums up what I’ve taught you in life, but being content and at peace is the one thing I hope you’ve learned from me.  What I have learned from you would take volumes to write, but here’s the short version – at least for today.

Lara, you’ve taught me what it means to be content in every situation.  You were always content with little.  You could spend a day, and still can, wrapped around a good book.  I still picture you in your room, slaving away at whatever project you had that day oblivious to hunger or the newest thing on TV or whatever your friends were doing.  You pour your entire life into the vessel in front of you at the moment.  I can see that rare gift in your life as a mom and a wife and I am so grateful to be able to watch.

Luke, you’ve taught me that life is to be held in an open hand.  Your passion for excitement, your commitment to your friends and your solid foundation of values show me what a wonderful man you have become.  I have seen in you that not gripping life too tightly will open up things that are impossible to do when you clinch.  I watch you work hard and play hard with a focus rarely seen in a man your age and I’m inspired to be a better man myself.  

Tia, you’ve taught me compassion.  You’ve always been the one to care for each of us and everyone you touch in a unique way.  From the mice the cat brings in to a far away child you sponsor, everyone and everything is touched by your gentle spirit and you always seem to know how to repair our brokenness.  You live life with fiery passion and peaceful compassion, a rare mix that I hope I can continue to learn from in watching your life.

Thank you, my kids, for teaching me what no one else could.

Simply,

Dad

180 - Two act drama of new found faith

Finally finished this little drama of new found faith I started a while ago.  Let me know what you think! 

Download 180 play 

Sample Dialogue:

 

Act One - Scene One

 

(Man on his knees in Living Room)

Peter:  God, I'm new at this but here goes:  Where do I start?   John said - You know my friend John don't You?  Oh of course You do, how stupid.  Anyway, John said I should talk to You about things.  So...how are You?  No...no...what a dumb thing to say, you're God how could You be anything but great!  Well, I'm not so great.  Somehow I thought all of this would be easier.  I've been meeting with John for months and at first I thought all of this Christian stuff was a bunch of bunk, sorry about that by the way, but as John kept talking with me it all seemed to make sense.  Once I put my trust in You I thought my problems would all just disappear.  I know.. John read me some verses that said I would have some trouble in my life - tribulations I think he called them -but I thought that was just a disclaimer.  Like those lawyer commercials on TV.  You know "...not based on actual cases, your actual outcome may differ."  You see, I told my friend Jason about my decision to follow You and he laughed until he nearly coughed up a lung.  I'm afraid I'll get the same reaction from Patty and the kids....

 

(Patty enters the room)

 

Patty:   What about me and the kids?  What are you doing Peter? Did you hurt your back again?

 

Peter:   Well, no....

 

Patty:   Here, let me help you up.  You've really got to see someone about this.  You know Dr. Young said he would look at you and see what's up with your back.  I told you he does all the chiropractic work for the 49ers didn't I.

 

Peter:   That's great, but I need....

 

Patty:   I know what you need - a stiff drink and a long soak in the hot tub.  I'll have it all ready for you tonight when you get home from work.

 

Peter:   That's not exactly....

 

Patty:   I know, I know...later though ok.   I've got to go get ready to meet with Theresa's school counselor this morning to see if I can get her back into her science class.  Who would have thought that one little explosion could get you kicked out of chemistry.  I mean, no one got hurt or anything and the fire was out in just a matter of hours.  Anyway I'll take good care of you tonight - see ya later.

 

Peter:   Patty.

 

Patty:   Yeah.

 

Peter:   I just...I just...

 

Patty:   What is it Peter?

 

Peter:   I just wanted to tell you I love you.

 

Patty:   That's sweet - bye bye now.

 

(Patty exits to bedroom)

 

Peter:   See God...you'd think it would be easy to tell your family such important news.  You'd think I could just stand up and say "Patty - I've become a Christian."

 

(Theresa enters on last few words)

 

Theresa: Who's become a Christian.

 

Peter:   Well....

 

Theresa: (searching the room for something) We've got some of those at school.  They seem nice enough, but most of them are just a little strange.  Kinda weird, ya know?  Anyway, I think it's dumb to limit yourself to one religion.  We need to be open to all forms of faith.  Don't you think so?

 

Peter:   Actually, I....

 

Theresa: Dad, have you seen my Nano?  I think this is the last place I had it.  I've looked everywhere else.

 

Peter:   I might have seen it.  What exactly is a "Nano."

 

Theresa: Oh dad, you're no help at all.  I gotta go, I'm late. Bye.

 

(Theresa exits)

 

Peter:   Ok. God, You tell me how to get through to this family when I can't put more than three words together at the same time.  Hey, I've done my part.  I believe.  I've done the 180.

 

(Tommy enters the room)

 

Tommy: You did a 180 Dad?  Cool.  Is that how you hurt your back?

 

Peter:    I didn't hurt my back!

 

Tommy: Mom said you hurt your back.  Too bad, cause if you had, that TV lawyer could get you (in TV. voice)"5.6 million dollars...actual results may differ."

 

Peter:   No Tommy, I've made some decisions to turn my life around.

 

Tommy:  That's great Dad, could you sign this?

 

Peter:   What is it?

 

Tommy: Just a permission slip for a class I have to take.

 

Peter:   What kind of class needs a permission slip?

 

Tommy: Just a family living class.

 

Peter:  That sounds good, but why does it need a permission slip?

 

Tommy: Well, I guess we talk about sex and stuff.

 

Peter:   Whoa...what kind of stuff?

 

Tommy: Stuff Dad!  Just stuff.  Will you please just sign it.

 

Peter:   Well I want to know a little more about....

 

Tommy: Is this about that 180 thing, 'cause if it is it's really lame!  Theresa took this class no questions asked.  I get nailed about everything like this, my friends will think I’m some kind of geek if I have to sit out of the class.  It's just not fair, you never understand.  I'll just ask Mom.

 

(Tommy exits in a huff)

 

Peter:   Tommy....  You see what I'm up against God.  I know I haven't paid much attention around here for the past few years, but you'd think they would listen at least a little.  After all  I am The Dad.  I have a feeling it's going to take a miracle to get through to them.  So... since miracles are your department...have at it!  I've got to go or I'm going to be late myself.  I'll talk to You later.

 

(leaves room and quickly re-enters)

 

Peter:   Oh...sorry.  Amen.

Download 180 for free - enjoy!

Simply,

Tim